


And Now You Have Both

by ohthewhomanity (katzsoa)



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: F/F, Weblena Week, Weblena Week 2018, backstory headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 03:40:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16318424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzsoa/pseuds/ohthewhomanity
Summary: "What's it like to be a shadow?" (For Weblena Week 2018 Day Three - Light/Shadow)





	And Now You Have Both

“What’s it like to be a shadow?”

It was the first time that Webby had dared to ask this question. She’d asked plenty, certainly – she was curious by nature, and since they’d finally managed to bring Lena back out of her shadow and into a body once more, she was able to ask and get answers for all the questions that she should have thought to ask before everything went sour.

But Lena wasn’t always in the mood to answer Webby’s questions. Which was completely understandable. What was a sudden surprise and intriguing mystery for Webby was for Lena the very painful first chapter of her existence.

Even when Webby wasn’t asking questions, it was nigh-impossible to avoid reminding Lena of that part of her life. Everyone kept tripping over it, like a too-high threshold on a door – mentioning a childhood experience that “everyone” had, but she hadn’t, or laughing about something that all families do, but the only family she had before this one was the evil sorceress who brought her to life, or saying “wait, when have _you_ been to _Moscow?_ ” but the answer of course begins with “well, back when I was enslaved by my aunt…”

Completely avoiding Lena’s past was impossible, but Webby could bite back the most direct, invasive questions. Which were usually the most obviously interesting questions. But her girlfriend’s comfort was infinitely more important than her own curiosity.

But things were quiet now, and warm, and they were in Lena’s room together, relaxing on the bed, Webby’s back to Lena’s front, with Lena’s arms wrapped comfortably around her middle, the music of one of those bands she liked playing softly from her phone in the background. And things had felt good and safe enough for such a question to maybe be answered.

So Webby just closed her eyes, and waited, and hoped she hadn’t hurt Lena too much with the question. Hoping that she wasn’t hurt at all seemed a bit too far-fetched, even for Webby’s level of optimism.

At least she wasn’t waiting in complete silence, with the lead singer of the Featherweights crooning to fill the gap.

“It’s… flat,” Lena finally said, her voice quiet and very close to Webby’s ear. “A shadow isn’t… hm, you’re not dead, I don’t think, but you’re not really alive either. You can’t touch anything, you just pass over and through. There’s no color – you know where the light is, you feed on it, but you can’t perceive it like eyes do. You don’t need to breathe, and you don’t have the lungs to do so even if you wanted to. There’s no heartbeat, either. No muscles. It’s easy to forget your heart, having one all the time, you have to think about it to feel it beating. But a shadow doesn’t have a heart. The first time I felt that, I didn’t know what to do with it. But then everything about having a body was new and overwhelming, that first day. I hated it. But I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t even know what a choice was. A shadow doesn’t choose. It follows. If given life, it does as the one who cast it would do, until it’s sent away again. But if given a body, and allowed to go on living for fifteen years… I guess I’m the answer to what happens then.”

She paused. “I think I’m answering a different question. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” Webby said quickly.

“It’s just hard to think about it, being a shadow, without thinking about _not_ being one,” said Lena. “I can’t… I didn’t think anything about it, when that’s all I was. I didn’t have any perspective on it. How do you describe the color pink to someone who’s never seen it? Or air to someone who’s never breathed? Or the weight of a body to someone who’s never felt the weight of anything, ever, at all? Or pain, or illness, or fatigue, or… joy. There’s so much that sucks about being alive, but there’s _so much_ to being alive overall. It wasn’t easy, being alive, it _still_ isn’t easy, but… After the first five, ten years, I couldn’t go back. The thought of losing all of this, everything I now knew existed, all the things I could do now, and feel… it terrified me. I sat down right there and told her I wouldn’t go another step, I wouldn’t do any more of her bidding, unless she promised me my freedom in return.”

“And she promised?”

“She lied.”

Webby thought then of the Shadow War, and Lena springing out of Magica’s shadow to defend her, and the months after that that Lena had spent in her own shadow, flat and colorless and following.

She rolled over to face Lena, putting her arms around her and squeezing tightly, pressing her face into Lena’s chest.

Lena returned the embrace with equal firmness.

“It wasn’t so bad,” she said, knowing Webby well enough to know what was on her mind. “You’re a light I didn’t mind following around. I didn’t have a body, but I still had you.”

“And now you have both.”

“Yes.” Lena pressed a kiss to the top of Webby’s head. “Now, I have both.”


End file.
